Why Marry?

Clearly Season 6

Jul 22

Why get married? So I can be fulfilled? Made complete? Get my tax break? If these answers resonate with you, we're glad you've tuned in! Prepare yourself for a vision of marriage that has (almost) nothing to do with you. 💍

The Short Story:

We’re talking about ‘ships…. Relationships!

If you don’t have a good foundational understanding of marriage, you’re gonna get dating all wrong.

Even as Christians, we can fall into the trap of making marriage about ourselves rather than Christ.

If you’re in an abusive relationship or if your spouse is asking you to do sinful things, reach out to your local church and notify the local authorities. The following is counsel we would give to the majority of marriages. But ultimately, the best marriage advice comes from people who know you personally and love Jesus. So make sure you have those voices in your life through your local church.

If God is at the center of our marriage, then what is marriage for?

Marriage is for God’s Glory

Your marriage isn’t all about you. Or your spouse. 👀

In Ephesians 5:22-32, Paul is coaching couples on how to have a Christ-centered marriage. He ends with this:

“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” - Ephesians 5:32

What’s Paul saying? The most important thing that you need to remember about your marriage is that it is a parable pointing to the church’s relationship with Christ.

A parable is a story that reveals a heavenly reality.

When we view our marriage covenant as a reflection of how Christ loves the church, how we love our spouse changes. This increases the importance of our attitude and actions! The stakes are higher!

Paul speaks to husbands and wives separately, as individuals. These directions aren’t conditional. Your call to obedience isn’t based on how well your spouse loves you in return. The Bible even expects you to uphold your side of the covenant when your spouse is rebelling against God (1 Peter 3).

But why? Why are you expected to continue loving your spouse?

Because God loves you unconditionally.

Your marriage displays God’s covenant-keeping love. ❤️

Resolve to stay in your marriage for God’s glory, more than for the benefit of yourself or your spouse.

2. Marriage is for the advancement of God’s Kingdom

Is God’s Kingdom advancing as a result of your marriage? Ouch, right?

In Genesis 2:18, God said that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. God was about to give Adam the huge task of cultivating the garden and working with animals. He would not be able to do it by himself. Adam needed a “helper”.

The Hebrew word for ‘helper’ is ‘ʿēzer’ which means ‘help or one who helps’ (read more here). This word occurs twenty-two times in the Old Testament. Seventeen of these occurrences describe the Lord’s help. Adam didn’t need a maid or an assistant. He needed someone to provide strong support so that he could accomplish the task ahead of him!

Marriage is about being on mission for God’s work together.

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Hear us out, whether you are married or not, you ARE on mission for God! Paul was single and certainly did plenty for God! He actually saw singleness as more beneficial than marriage.

If anything, we’re just saying this same missional attitude should be present in marriage like it is in singleness.

If you’re curious about how this applies to dating, check back in next week!

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3. Marriage is for Your Joy

Marriage isn’t just pragmatic, it’s truly a gift from God. In fact, many gifts from God rolled into one: joy, comfort, companionship, pleasure, and more!

Why people be hatin’ on marriage? Marriage is AWESOME!! We are PRO-MARRIAGE, friends! 😆 Marriage is to be celebrated not just on the wedding day, but in our day-to-day lives as well! Marriage is a good gift from God to be desired and enjoyed!

Btw, singleness is also a good gift from God to be enjoyed! Of course, the joys of marriage and singleness are different. But calling marriage a gift, doesn’t mean that singleness is a lesser gift. Whether you’re single or married, whatever you do should be done for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

4. Marriage is for the Future

As in aliens? Sky rockets? And living underwater?

Nope. Babies!! 👶

The biblical word for this is fruitfulness 🍓 For most of history, marriage, and family have always been connected. Only in recent years can you have a marriage without children and vice versa. But the Bible sees these things as a tied unit. Children are a natural byproduct of marriage. The Bible says to be fruitful and multiply.

However, the Bible doesn’t say how many children you should have or when. We don’t want to add rules where the Bible doesn’t make rules. And for some couples, God doesn’t allow them to have kids. So, it’s not sinful to be childless. There are so many opportunities to invest in children, whether they be your own, adopted into your family, through your friendships, or through your local church. But if you are able, the Bible does encourage you to grow your family. Having children is one way you can keep God at the center of your marriage.

Why? Because bringing up the next generation in God-honoring homes is one way to advance God’s kingdom. We are called to disciple (not just discipline) our children!

Let’s take a look at how our Bibles speak about children:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5

Again, this isn’t just for YOUR benefit! Children are arrows you send out into the world to make more disciples! Your time with them is to train them up to be a new generation of believers. Raise your children to bring God more glory!

Putting Christ as the center of your marriage will involve tearing down all other idols and ideology which can be tough and painful. We get that. We have felt that.

But bringing God into the center of our marriage is what has brought us the most joy and caused our marriage to thrive!! God at the center of your marriage is what’s good for your marriage and for those around you!

Application questions:

In Ephesians 5:22-32, what directions are given to wives? To husbands?
Using a concordance, look up all the verses that use the word ‘ʿēzer’. Write down what you learn about this word that means ‘help’.
Both marriage and singleness are gifts. Make a list of the unique gifts of each..
Take some time to reflect on how you’ve been talking about singleness, marriage, and children. Consider if some things need to change.
Pray these four things for your marriage or a friend’s marriage!
Dedicate some time to memorizing a verse or two of your choosing from Ephesians 5:22-32.

Want to ask us a question? Email question@clearlypodcast.com.